Birthday Fun

It's only a month past our birthdays, but still - this year's birthday-fest was the BEST EVER.

Excellent birthday cards:

Beautiful birthday flowers:

Tasty birthday lunch:

Happy birthday happy hour at our favorite pub:

Fun birthday brunch:

Amazing birthday dinner:

Delicious birthday cake (by Bianca):

Best birthday gift ever to each other - paying off the house:

Best.Belated.Birthday.Present.EVER.

Thanks, Mel!!!

Reflections on 42

42 seems like an awful number, when you put it in print.

Particularly when you think of 42 in context of age.

• 42 means I'm no longer entering my 40's. By 42 I am firmly planted in my 40's.
• 42 means I'm now twice as old as my mom was when she had me.
• 42 means I probably should put on the mantle of grown-up - with all of the associated responsibilities.

Indeed. 42 carries a lot of significance.

Yet as I look at 42 fair-and-square in the mirror today, it occurs to me that:

• 42 means I've lived more than half of my lifetime away from my hometown. (For a bit of fun: In 42 years, I've lived in 3 countries, 5 states and 17 different apartments/houses)
• 42 means I've finally gained some wisdom worth sharing and enough gravitas that others ask me for it.
• 42 means I've experienced the unbridled joy and unbelievable heartaches of life and have learned to embrace both.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I see the girl who loves to go, explore and experience, lurking behind the quiet sadness of the woman who knows that sometimes hopes and dreams don't work out quite the way you expect them to.

And that's ok.

42 isn't the end. It's the beginning of the journey to 43, with all of the who-can-imagine-what that God has in store along the way.

Running a Confidence Game

I read an article not long ago that talked about stars who "improved" in their fashion choices as they've gotten older. All of the ladies featured in the story were 42 and over. The story not only analyzed the clothes worn, but also the apparent confidence level of each individual.

That got me to thinking.

I certainly feel more confident now that I'm in my 40s. Maybe there's something to getting older.

In our teens, we're wondering who we are. It's a desperate search for an identity - any identity. We want people to like us, and we'll adapt as needed to fit in.

In our 20s, we're learning who we are. No longer bound to the "people who've known us our whole lives," we can begin developing our true identity. We're seeking others like us who will like us for who we are.

In our 30s, we're justifying who we are. Anxiety and insecurities abound as we wonder if who we are is enough - enough for us, enough for our family, enough for our workplace.

I think the 30s can be full of amazing highs and amazing lows as we work to reconcile the hopes and realities of life.

Then come our 40s. We are who we are and we don't have to prove it to anyone.

Is it any wonder that as we age we appear more confident?

We appear to be more confident because we are more confident.

I'm 41, nearly 42. And I'm ok with that.

I Wonder...

Why is it that you never hear comments like: Ah, you're celebrating your 21st birthday, right? or: It's wonderful to be 29, isn't it? until you are over 40?

Sigh.

And for the record, if I had to pick an age I'd want to repeat, it would be 25 (my favorite birthday while living in Kenya) or 27 (my age when I married The Boy) or 34 (the year we celebrated our birthdays at the British Open).

What The Boy Bought Me

Look what The Boy bought me as an early birthday/new job/I love you/it's pretty present:

We spotted the necklace while browsing a shop at the Palo Duro Canyon.

I love it...and I love The Boy.

(And happy birthday to him today!!!)

Stages of Involvement in Professional Organizations

My observations after finding myself, inexplicably, as one of the two oldest individuals at an industry function last week:

Your 20s
I'd be happy to do that - and that, and that, and that.

Your 30s
I'd love to, but I'm already committed to doing something other than that.

Your 40s
I encourage my people to do that.

Your 50s
Why won't anyone ask me to do that?

Your 60s
What is that?

A Birthday Celebration

So how do you celebrate a birthday? Especially when:

• There are two birthdays to celebrate and
• One is a "big" birthday.

I'll tell you how - you gather up your best friends and go to a "big" landmark in Dallas, Reunion Tower: 

Once you're there, take a ride up 560 feet to the top of the ball to enjoy a meal at Wolfgang Puck's 560.

 Make sure you take your best friends. Dinner is always better with friends. And your sweetheart.

560 offers a fantastic view. It's a revolving restaurant, so the skyline definitely steals the show. I was glad we went early, allowing us to savor our meal without eating super late at night, but I wish we could have been there after dark. Part of the reason I moved to Dallas was because I loved the skyline at night. Yes, I am that shallow (and romantic).

But the view wasn't the only showstopper. We decided to order the five-course tasting menu. Oh the food....oh.my.

First course: Family Style Dim Sum. The plate came loaded with crispy lobster and shrimp spring rolls with ten spiced-honey dipping sauce; stir-fried organic chicken in lettuce cups with pine nuts, crisp rice sticks and wasabi mustard; and pork belly potstickers with black vinegar dipping sauce and chili oil.

Second Course: “Salt and Pepper” calamari salad with jalapeños and pickled ginger vinaigrette.

Third Course: “Hong Kong Style” King Salmon with bok choy, ginger and soy.

Fourth Course: Honey-glazed pork chop with brussel sprouts, shiitake mushrooms, and apple-fennel puree.

Fifth Course: Served Family Style. We'd noted that one of our party couldn't eat dairy, so the chef put together a great trio of dairy-free sorbet for her. (Right to left) Raspberry, Pear and Strawberry-Basil.

For the rest of us, we were given peach cobbler with vanilla bean ice cream:

And a special birthday-themed presentation of Fresh-baked miniature cookies and hazelnut chocolate decadence cake with 10-year chocolate sauce and chocolate sorbet. Holy yum.

Just so you know, the 10-year chocolate sauce was pretty special.

I double checked.

 And also, just so you know, there are some 41-year-olds that you can't take anywhere:

And they are totally unrepentant. That's why we love them.

The Hayleys had a fantastic birthday celebration, plus this was a really great way to also achieve some 101 List goals!

Happy Birthday, Hayleys!

Today's the Day!!!

I.am.40.

No longer in my 30's. A long way from my 20's. And apparently, I'm still alive and kicking.

The biggest change, so far, has been editing my blog from this:

To this:

Happy birthday to me!

Musings on 40: My Changing Role

It's a strange thing, moving from being the person seeking advice to being the person sought for advice.

They say that wisdom comes from experience - and experience comes from bad experience. So that must mean that I have a lot of bad experience. But evidently, I've survived to tell the tale(s).

Hmmm...nearly 40 and a whole lot wiser than I used to be. I kind of like it.

Musings on 40: Lessons I've Learned

I'm not 40...yet. Give me another couple of weeks, though, and I'll be there.

One lesson I've learned, and am being reminded of recently, is that things don't always work out the way you think they will.

• Hopes unfulfilled
• Health fails
• Leaders fall
• People disappoint

But there's another side to this lesson - one that took me 38 years to learn: It's how you heal from brokenness that matters.

We all have things happen - sometimes it's later in life, sometimes it's far earlier than you'd wish. And when those hurts come, breaking our hearts and spirits, we're wounded. We're angry, grieved, troubled and confused. But eventually we heal and we move on.

Here's the rub - you can heal and become hard. Or you can heal and become strong. Hard can easily break again. Strong, on the other hand, can bend when the next storm comes, enduring and providing shelter.

And that's the biggest thing I've finally come to understand: Broken people are best equipped to help broken people.

It's no secret that The Boy and I have gone through some tough times. Things we didn't understand, that broke our hearts, that made us angry. It took us a long time to heal and there are many days that I'm sure I'll never be completely whole.

But I've realized that it's in my brokenness that I've found a compassion that I didn't know was possible. An ability to see and understand people, situations and problems that I never could before.

While I'd never choose the journey of hurt, since we all seem to take it, I'm grateful that I've healed the right way.

I'm strong. And that's a very good thing to know before you turn 40.

Eye, Eye!

After a prolonged absence, I finally went to visit my eye doctor last week.

The good news: my Lasik eye surgery from 1998 is apparently still holding strong. Hooray for 20/20 vision.

The bad news: apparently the surface of my eyes looks a bit like this:

Yikes! Dry eyes=dry eye surface.

When Dr T said my eye surface had the consistency of sandpaper, I immediately wanted to ask him what grade sandpaper - 220 (superfine) or 80 (really rough)? I guess that's what happens when you've been working on furniture projects for months on end...

While my dry eyes are here to stay, so is a new routine of (over-the-counter) eye drops 3x a day.

I'm about to file a formal protest over getting older. Does anyone know where the complaint office is located?

Same For Him

We're not mentioning his birthday either. It's the last year of hanging onto the 30s, you know. Expect a massive party next year.


But for this year, we're sticking with a trip to Japan House for Birthday Sushi (or as one of my friends calls it, Birthday Bait) and, ironically, a Weber charcoal grill for the house.

I know. Someone's got to stop these wild and crazy Hayleys.

If You're Not Going to Celebrate

Do it in style!

Enjoy the surprise decorations:


Munch on Sprinkles couriered to your office (thanks, KK!)...making sure to share with the office vultures (ummm...I mean coworkers!):


And make every woman in the office jealous of the floral arrangement that's taller than your giant computer monitor (thanks, Love!!):

Yeah - And That Other Thing

I know it's my birthday today. I'm not mentioning it in hopes that it will go away.

The Not-So-Fine Line

I'm not grouchy. I'm not old, either. But I have a wrinkle that's not doing me any favors.




There is an annoying part about getting older (note: again, not saying old): you start realizing that a lot of the advice you were given when you were younger is actually correct.

You know:

• Don't chew ice or it will wear down your teeth (drat, that was right)
• Rubbing at your eyes will cause fine lines (ugh)
• Not wearing sunscreen causes skin damage (hmm....)
• Don't furrow your brow while reading or you'll get a massive wrinkle (check out my photo)

It's not fair, not at all. Now I perpetually look like I'm either grouchy or concentrating really hard. Maybe I can use the latter to my advantage.

An Open Mind Isn't Always a Good Thing

I am irritated right now. (So much for that Joy List stuff...)

I try to plan my out-and-abouts so I'm going on a consistent path. My favorite service providers are located within a set radius of my home and office, or are located on my way to and from my home, office and gym. For those "special" shopping trips, I plan my route so I'm not driving back and forth from one store to the next, nor purchasing frozen foods before I go clothes shopping.

Great plan, eh?

Well it would be if I could manage to leave the store with everything that I actually purchased. For the second time in as many months, I've returned home from shopping without some of my items. This irritates me.

Am I absent-minded? Not paying attention to the full purchase process? Or is this the store's fault? An unforseen backfire to a policy of having fewer check-out clerks despite the shopping traffic?

Either way - going home without a bag of vegetables one time: the store's fault. Going home a second time without a bag of imported groceries: my fault. It has to be.

The older I get, the more I find myself joking about having things go into my head only to fall right back out. Funny, yes, but maddening. Now that I'm nearly (choke) 37, I'm wondering if this is the beginning of dementia or if I just have too much on my mind to properly sort details, remember key points and retain control over the multitude of things going on in my life.

And I'm getting pretty tired of having to drive back to the store to collect forgotten bags. It defeats the whole point of having an out-and-about plan.

If You Are Only As Old As You Feel...

...then I am old. Ancient, in fact.

Trying to expiate Friday's many fried-food sins, I went for a 6.5-mile endurance hike on Saturday, followed by a 5-hour shopping marathon (there's never any time during the week). Today we squeezed in a round of golf on what was probably the slowest golf day ever - 4.5 hours to play what normally takes us 3-3.5 hours.

(Did I mention that we always walk the course? Carts are for sissies!)

I am sore. I am exhausted. I am hobbling around the house wondering why I thought that fried food was something that needed to be worked off.

I need a bubble bath. Stat.