The Best Relationship Advice You Need

I have a friend, Jane Doe, who is using eHarmony to find Mr. Right. It's not that she's a loser who can't get a guy - she's a working woman who spends enough time on the job that it's hard to devote quality time to the dating scene. eHarmony is a great way to identify men with potential; kind of the internet generation's answer to the village matchmaker.

We talked the other night about not knowing if a person was "right" or not. I told her that the comment all single people hate to hear - "You'll know the right one when you're with him/her" - has a great deal of truth to it. I suggested she not worry about if a person was The One, but to concentrate on getting to know each other and building a relationship. My point was that walking around with Marriage Glasses can make you miss the obvious rightness of a person you enjoy spending time with - given that all other "musts" are present in the person.

I shared this story with Kelly while we were on a dinner date Saturday night. His take on the situation:

Tell her to stop looking for Mr. Right.

Tell her to start looking for her Best Friend.

Now why didn't I think to suggest that?

The truth is that all relationships are hard. There are days that a spouse irritates you, or when emotions run high, or the world is throwing some tough punches, or when you just don't feel in love.

Things that can crash a relationship built on feelings don't crash a relationship built on friendship. Kelly and I have been through highs and lows together that might have destroyed another couple. Not us. We like hanging out together. We're willing to sit together in silence. Gosh, we even still like each other's jokes.

And 10 years later (as of May 29th), he's still my best friend.