Mentoring

For what felt like forever, I was afraid of being a mentor.

I didn't know enough. My career didn't have enough awards marking the journey. The world didn't know my name.

At some point, I realized that a mentor is simpy someone who has been on the journey longer. Every experience leads to wisdom (be it "do this more" or "don't do that again" or "I wish I'd known") and wisdom can be shared.

And if wisdom can be shared, that means that anyone can be a mentor, and anyone can be mentored.  

I've been fortunate enough to have mentors who are older than me and mentors who are younger than me. I also have a group of women who meet regularly (we're the Marketeers!) to mentor one another.

Never be afraid to seek out a mentor or to serve as a mentor - whether you're asked to or not. I'm glad I got over my fear and I feel that both my career and my life are better for it.

Tracking Life Changes One Ice Cream Crank at a Time

Two weeks before I started working at my previous company, Kelly and I made homemade ice cream.

We didn't make it again until the July 4th weekend, two weeks after I started working at the city.

That's a nice bookend, don't you think?

And it says quite a bit about free time, work/life balance and embracing the simple pleasures of life ... like Butterfinger ice cream and not sharing with kitties, no matter how cute they are.

Just a Reminder to Create What You Need

I grabbed this photo off of Random Cathy's Insta feed because first, my hair looks cute this photo and second, I love this group of women.

I think I've written about this before (?? - too tired/can't be bothered to search The Archives), but I've had a great group of professional women that I've networked with for more than a decade.

In the early 2000s, a larger version of this group would get together to share stories and strategies for how we could advance our careers. We were young in our fields, working in what was then a male-dominated industry, and we were hungry to Make A Difference.

We needed each other to learn, to grow and to "sniff test" our reactions to situations we faced. It was a good and healthy group to engage with for the time. We met for a couple of years, then disbanded as healthy groups tend to do when a need has been fulfilled.

Last year, one of the former members of that group and I met for lunch and decided we needed version 2.0 of that group. This time, we would stay small and very focused. We'd have an agenda. We'd be designed for senior-level women (Hey! Our original group's purpose paid off in spades!) who were dealing with senior-level issues. Discussions would be strictly confidential.

Once again, it's a good and healthy group and I've found it to be so critical in my continued personal and professional growth. Where else can I meet with women that I've known for more than a decade, chat about life, enjoy a good meal, then have deep discussions and take notes ferociously over a topic that we're all dealing with?

The point of all of this is: Create what you need. If you need a group, don't wait around for someone to create one for you or to invite you to join their group. Make your own.

Recognizing a need and doing something about it is a part of your personal growth. You'll be better for having taken initiative in your own life to grow.

Acupressure Massage: The Therapist Goes to War

The husband loves me - he sent me off on a Sunday afternoon to get a foot massage (ahhh...Top Feet!) and an acupressure massage.

I'd never had an acupressure massage before. By the way, it's the same thing as shiatsu massage, which you may have heard of.

(I had heard of shiatsu, but I'd never had that either.)

Anyway, it was the best and worst hour of my life.

In acupressure/shiatsu, the therapist uses his fingers, thumbs and palms to apply pressure to release muscle knots. It also includes assisted stretching and joint movement.

For a runner who hasn't done yoga in a while (bad me) or rolled in a while (really bad me) and just ran 9-miles for the first time in a while the day before (that's me), there were some serious knots, tight muscles and tight muscle fascia.

For my therapist, serious knots and tight muscles/muscle fascia was merely an afternoon challenge, a personal battle of sorts. Therapist vs the body. And, as the movie Highlander says, "There can be only one."

He won.

Ho-ly-cow, he won.

I can't wait to go back.

Don't Ignore the Little Things

Oftentimes it really are the little things that make tremendous impact in life.

For me, those little things lately have looked like:

• Getting the ironing done over the weekend.
• Cooking good, wholesome food for 7 days in a row and then not feeling guilty when we decided to splurge with a fast-ish dinner out on night 7 (even though we took it home to eat).
• Clearing my desk of 5 different piles of paper - cleared directly into file folders and drawers, recycling bins or to other team member's desks.
• Clearing my computer of 4 different To Do post it notes.
• Being able to scratch through one entire page of tasks.
• Reading three magazines while relaxing with the kitties.
• Getting a rare February sunburn (ouch!) because I spent way too much time outside.

None of these are much on their own, but together they mentally make a huge difference in how I perceive my sense of "behind-ness" and my overall stress level.

This makes me wonder why it's so easy to ignore the little things until they become Big Huge Horrible things?

Source

The Secret Ingredient

For months, I've been pretty convinced that old age had finally caught up with me.

I didn't want to cook, didn't have energy to clean. I didn't want to travel, was secretly relieved when plans cancelled. I couldn't stay awake during movies and laying around in pajamas sounded won-der-ful.

On December 30, I figured out what was really going on.

I was tired. 

Because I had an abundance of about-to-lose-them vacation days at work (the result of a large project that prevented taking time off), I took holiday from December 22, 2014 - January 4, 2015.

But it took me a full nine days to get relaxed.

NINE DAYS.

I woke up December 30th feeling like I wanted to clean the house. And read some new cookbooks that I'd bought months earlier. And do craft projects. And window shop. And eat lunch with friends and talk about silly things and find humor in odd things again.

It was weird - and weirdly reassuring.

Nothing was wrong with me that a little concentrated time sleeping, petting kitties and decompressing couldn't fix.

So the challenge, of course, is to not get quite so depleted in 2015. That's a goal that's easier held than achieved, but I think the effort is well worth it.

Source

This Weekend

Labor Day. Running. Friends. Yes.

What's a iGirl to iDo?

My iPhone is not functioning properly.

For a while now photos have a mysterious filmy filter appearance. (And it does me no good to be told to clean the phone - I've done that and it's not the problem.)

Now I can't put it to sleep via the sleep button. It simply won't work. No problem you say? Sure - it's not a problem unless I look at my phone on the train and then have to wait for it to naturally fall asleep, risking pocket dials and garbled phone texts.

I need a new phone.

Kelly says I need to learn to not drop my phone before I can have a new phone.

Whatever.

Source

Sometimes...

Sometimes you look at your spouse and realize you haven't gone away, just the two of you, for a non-family, non-faith based, non-friend related trip.

Sometimes you just need time to invest in your marriage.

So we did over the July 4th weekend - and it was good.

White Space

My friend, Random Cathy, and I have both written about the importance of white space.

It amazes me how I can so quickly forget the lessons I've previously learned - like the importance of white space.

I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. Overwhelmed by work, home responsibilities, guilt over lack of connection with friends and family...you name it. I was overwhelmed and thinking about it only made it worse.

My colleague is a truly wonderful person and said, I'm worried you're getting burnt out.

He was right. I was dangerously close to the burn-out point of no return. Why is it that others have to tell you something that you should clearly be able to see for yourself?

How did I get there?

Simple: I didn't have white space.

Old work processes that were effective were no longer effective. I didn't have time to do something that, as I get older, I'm learning is critically important to making me who I am: Pause and reflect.

It turns out that my brain functions best when it has time to percolate.

Too many deadlines, rushing from this to that, and detail upon detail simply wears me out. The creative side of my brain shuts down.

Apparently, according to research conducted by the Harvard School of Business, I'm not the only one. Allowing time for reflection (ie - white space) actually improves job performance.

Source

Making an Upgrade

For years - years - we've had a sad little block of knives. These knives have moved with us nine times and prepared countless delicious meals.

Yet still, they were showing their age. That's how "get real kitchen knives" ended up on my 101 list.

However, I knew that replacing our knives wouldn't be an inexpensive proposition. I also wanted to purchase precisely what we needed and wanted, not simply what was provided in a preset knife set.

I researched knives, read reviews and built a list of what we wanted in our own set.

And, after several months of shopping using holiday gift cards and fitness program rewards shopping cards, we finally have our full set:

I purchased a nice block from Henckels that had a configuration of openings that worked with the knives I intended to buy. Our knives are a combination of classic American (Chicago Cutlery - old knives, that I had resharpened by a local pro), German (Wusthof) and French (Opinel).

Cooking has never been more fun - or easier! The difference great knives make can't be understated.

If you're considering replacing your knives, I thought this article in particular was incredibly helpful.

When the Busy is for Good Reasons

Mom emailed last week, wondering if I was busy. Her evidence? No blog posts, no email messages and no Facebook posts.

So yes - I've been busy and so has my guy. We're playing catch up on some things, trying to get ahead  on other things and juggling home repairs with work meetings.

Fun times!

It's important to keep in mind that busy comes and busy goes. For us, we're resigned to a certain amount of busy lives for the next couple of years. We're working for a purpose (paying off the house, getting retirement to a certain point, catching up out-of-date work processes) and that simply requires time and energy.

But as we keep reminding ourselves, it's important to know when to turn the busy dial down to a less busy pace.

All work and no play, you know, is just as bad as all play and no work.

My Feet Say THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU

We had an incredibly busy - but productive - weekend.

In just 48 hours we:

• Ran a 5k (us)
• Got our hair cut (us)
• Went to work (us)
• Bought and set up a new computer (him)
• Set up a home network (him)
• Grilled out (him)
• Cleaned the ceilings (me)
• Washed the blinds (me)
• Cleaned and organized the pantry (me)
• Cleaning and organized the laundry room (me)
• Did laundry and ironing (me)
• Cooked for first part of the week (me)
• Made candy for the (his) office (me)

We impressed ourselves.

After all that work I felt like I deserved a special treat that I'd been saving up for - a foot massage. It was on my 101 list, but it was also on my I REALLY NEED THIS list.

I headed to a little shop in a strip mall near our house. An hour and $35 (including tip) later I was a new woman.

I'm sure I had the look of abject bliss that I've seen many times on Bridget's face. My hour-long foot reflexology massage was much more than foot rubbing. All of the pressure points in my face, arms, shoulders, hands, legs and feet were thoroughly attended to.

I'm not sure why I waited so long for this. I came home and told Kelly that was the best money I'd spent in many days.

I would give up Starbucks for another massage. I'm not kidding.

More on the New Year

During my sabbatical week, I thought a lot about what I want 2014 to look like - trying to be reasonable as well as aspirational.

That meant that things like "Abolish all unwanted change in my life" didn't make the list, but thoughts of finding a better life pace and keeping focus on the right things in my life at the right time did.

You see, I felt like I was in a pretty good place, life-wise, in late spring through mid-summer. I'd moved past the "still slightly stupid newer employee" point. Kelly's thumb was completely rehabbed. I hadn't fallen or otherwise become injured while running. I'd found time to go on a long-ish vacation. Then, suddenly, it wasn't as ok. I felt busy. Very very busy.

The kind of busy where you have to make a list that is practically tattooed to your body so that you don't forget what you need to do.

The kind of busy where you view any free moment as a moment to tackle something else on The List.

The kind of busy where you start taking sleeping aids because it's difficult to unwind at night, making staying alert and focused the next day a real challenge.

That kind of busy is not.good.

It was obvious that I needed a reset. But pondering what type of reset was required was what occupied my thoughts during my downtime. Eventually, it occurred to me that what I was enjoying most about my downtime was exactly what I needed to reset.

I loved spending uninterrupted time with Kelly. I also enjoyed spending time with both of our families for the holidays. Family needs to become a bigger priority.

I loved going for longer runs, letting my legs take me where I felt like going. Running without my watch at times so I could just be in the moment instead of focused on the "rules" of my run. Yet I also felt achy and stiff, and realized that last spring I'd stopped attending yoga. Fitness needs become a bigger priority.

I loved playing in the kitchen (my term for fiddling around making whatever I feel like making). I cooked fun new recipes, old favorites and a feast for our family Christmas. Most importantly, I had time to cook for pleasure, rather than sustenance. Making time to cook good food needs to be a priority.

I loved having time to read my Bible without the time-pressure of finishing my readings during my train commute. We also spent good time with our church family. Faith needs to retake its place as a priority.

Essentially, what I realized needed resetting was Shannah. My blogger bio says that I'm trying to balance family, fun and faith. Yet these are all the things, plus a few more, that need resetting.

Hello. That means my very essence needs resetting.

However, I don't think that I've stopped doing any of the things I mentioned above. I think I've just stopped enjoying doing them because I was hurrying here, hurrying there - moving from one thing to the next to the next without pausing to enjoy the now.

That's why my single 2014 New Year's resolution is to be INTENTIONAL.

I don't care if I do it all, or do it best. I just want to do what I should do when I need to do it and be ok with letting the other stuff go - the not as important, the not right now, the maybe next year.

I believe that intentionality is a gift that you can give yourself without letting go of the desire to excel in what you do.

It's the gift of being yourself in a way that brings you joy.

Such a Good Thing

Taking a sabbatical was such a good thing - good in ways that I didn't anticipate.

I thought that I'd feel an urge to check in online, log time on work projects here and there and have various "to-do's" pinging around in my mind.

Not so.

I'm not going to lie and say I didn't work at all - I did. But my time was limited to a few specific tasks and I checked my email only twice a day, responding to the urgent and ignoring the rest. And I managed to stay off of Twitter for an entire week. (Shocking.)

The majority of my time was spent relaxing with my husband, making the furbabies feel appreciated, cooking good food from scratch and preparing for two Christmas celebrations, eight house guests and mountains of laundry.

I even set up the Christmas tree. On Christmas Eve, but I set it up.

I had no idea how much I needed to rest, from daily duties and from the (real and imagined) demands of electronic life.

2014 Focus

My 2014 focus is:

More about this later.

Looking Forward to a Sabbatical

I'm taking off the entire week last week of December through January 1.

I can't wait! I think I've only done one other full-week-off as a working adult - perhaps for me this sort of end-of-year pause is a once a decade event.

Or something.

The last time I took the holiday week off, I did it because The Boy's company closed for the week and I wanted to spend the time with him. I was also deep into a career reevaluation phase and wanted to step away from my responsibilities so I could better consider what I really wanted to do as a grown-up.

It's important to ask yourself those questions when you're in your late 30's.

Now I'm in my early 40's and I'm taking another week off. This time it's not a career reevaluation. (Thank goodness! I love where I am and know it's where I'm supposed to be.)

This year, I need a sabbatical.

We've have completed 2014 planning for work and I finally have my email inbox down to a manageable level. I've finished teaching a class outside of work and have absolutely nothing that I have to do.

It's a sabbatical. A rest from work, a time of refreshment.

I need it.

I don't know quite what the next 12 days will look like, but I hope that it will be a lot less "computer screen" and a whole lot more "face time" with friends and family.

And That's The Rest of the Story

I've come to the conclusion that there are basic things that we all need, but we rarely talk about. In fact, I think we not only shut off discussions about our core needs with others but we also refuse to admit them to ourselves.

But wouldn't it be better if we could just share the rest of our story?

If we were honest, we'd admit that we need to feel loved.

We need to feel like we belong.

That people are there to support us. Encourage us. Carry us when we're at the end of our resources. Celebrate with us when we're at our highest point.

Most (though not all) of us can find this refuge in family and in select friends. But I would argue that this isn't enough.

Our hearts long for significance.

There's a yearning within all of us to matter in the greater context.

I think that's what The Boy and I are searching for in our 101 goal to

Invest in faith community through relationships, not activity.

Waiting at the end of that investment is the rest of our story.

On Social Hiatus

I've been considering taking a break from Facebook for a while - that's why I put it on my 101 List.

It's not that I think I'm on Facebook all the time, overposting and oversharing. I just find that I surf over to Facebook when I'm bored, whiling away time in the news feed even when there's nothing really "new" to see.

Apparently I'm not the only one who finds Facebook to be a time suck. A couple of articles that spoke to me can be accessed here and here.

I highly recommend linking through to the Pew Research study mentioned in the second article.

Listen: I like Facebook. I like seeing photos, hearing news and keeping my finger on the pulse of my friends and family's lives.

But too much of a good thing is simply too much.

I'm not radical enough to deactivate my account. Honestly, that sounds like too much work and part of stepping away from Facebook is to reduce the clutter in my mind. I'm just deleting my bookmark to Facebook from my favorite browser and temporarily taking the app off my phone.

I'll still be on Twitter. This blog will continue to autopost to Facebook and I plan to catch up with any comments posted through Facebook later.

I'll be back in a week. Or so.




Source

Rest It Out

We need rest.

We need rest.

We need rest.

It's become serious business, this need for rest around our house. We're in that kind of mode where we fall asleep around 8:30 pm and barely drag ourselves out of bed at 5 am to start a new day. Weekend activity? Forgetaboutit.

It may be the back-to-back weeks of major races. It may be the back-to-back weeks of long work hour, spilling into normal home time.

Maybe it was a bit of both. Or all of the above.

In any case, last Friday when I headed to bed - just before 9 pm - The Boy mentioned he was getting up to run with the running club the next morning.

I announced that I had no intention of running (I actually haven't run in over a week now). I had one plan for the weekend:

Rest the exhaustion out.

I'd do a bit of cleaning around the house and rest if I felt like I needed it.

I'd run some errands - or not.

I'd sleep until I wanted to get up and go to bed early.

And, of course, it worked. I wouldn't say I'm 100% - it takes a long time to rest out exhaustion, after all. But I'm much, much better.

It's a start.