It's Not for Me

Scene: Driving home from work in the most infuriating rush hour traffic

Him: Baby, do you want to pick a lane and stay in it?

Me: Do you see how bad this traffic is? I'm trying to weave my way through.

Him: I'm not asking for me. I'm asking on behalf of all of the other drivers on the road. Perhaps I can interpret your lane changes for them.

Me: {glare}

Him: And then, perhaps, I can interpret their hand signals for you.