This beast was loud and, even worse, lazy.
Dishes half-cleaned while we shouted at one another during operating cycles. It had to go.
So thanks to a very good deal at Home Depot - allowing us to stay nearly $200 under budget while getting all of the features we wanted, it was time to send the beast to Appliance Heaven.
Or more likely Appliance Purgatory, based on its poor attitude.
About 30 minutes of work by nice delivery guys:
And we were left with this:
We're in love. She's shiny, cleans dishes like a charm and is super quiet in the process.