I Spent Time in Jail and it Gutted Me

Over the course of the past month and a half, I've had the privilege of going on ride-alongs with our local police and fire departments. The opportunity came through my participation in Leadership Plano.

They were also designed to prepare my Leadership Plano class for our April session, focused on public safety in our community.

That session was yesterday.

We spent the morning with our police, fire and emergency services department. They were, as expected, great. I learned a lot about personal property safety (Kelly has a long honey-do list that he's not yet aware of) and had a great lunch with our local firefighters.

Then we went to the county justice facility (read: jail) and the county juvenile detention facility.

That was a different experience altogether. I've never been to jail and am hopeful that I maintain that track record.

I was really impressed with the system of prisoner monitoring in my county - guards are actually in the housing units, actively supervising individuals. This protects prisoners and reduces incidents.

I was also impressed that a jail built 20+ years ago used made an effort to design in daylighting. Fresh daylight permeates all areas of the jail and I think that makes a tremendous difference in feeling.

But. It was still a jail. And there are people there who have made some terrible decisions and, in some cases, simply made some bad mistakes. So many are there as a result of having poor formative experiences that have fundamentally shaped them as adults - not that this is an excuse for terrible decisions and bad mistakes, but it is an influencing factor.

Even more so was the juvenile facility, housing kids from 10-17.

Yes. 10 years old.

10. That's a grade-schooler.

I can't even.

Just typing that makes me cry. Again.

Kids are in the system for a number of reasons - they've been victimized and their actions are a direct result of being abused (and worse: trafficking). They've made bad judgment calls (teenage hormones and all). They're addicted to drugs and alcohol and porn. Yes porn.

And porn, by the way, is a big problem for those 10-year-olds. Watch your cell phones, Watch your laptops. Never let kids be on them alone in their rooms.

I'm not kidding.

I was just overwhelmed by the tragedy of it all. Broken families, broken hearts, broken trust, broken society - it all leads to broken kids.

That broke my heart.

But y'all, the staff of the juvenile facility love kids.

They LOVE KIDS.

They aren't there to punish them or make them feel like they're bad.

They see their work as providing much-needed discipline and LOVE.

That also broke my heart for other reasons. Like - are we loving on the people that we pay to love on these kids? Are we taking care of them so they stay good and emotionally healthy? Because what they do is a calling. And we need them. And those kids - boy, they really need them.

I spent a lot of time trying not to cry while on our tour. And I failed,

I ate some chocolate. (Just like overcoming the effects of a Dementor, chocolate is pretty good at (temporary) overcoming the effects of heartache.)

But then I went home and told Kelly about the day and cried again.

I feel really challenged by my experience to "love the least of these."

I don't think I'm a person who's called to work in a prison or even do prison ministry, but I do think I need to be more mindful and find the ways that I can see and love on the all-to-often forgotten, marginalized members of our community even if it's just collecting toiletries to donate for those kids whose families won't supply those nicer-than-government-issue supplies.

People and kids in need are out there - in fact, more of them are out there than are in "the system."

It's just a matter of if we choose to see them or not.

Source
The staff told me their job was like catching water one drop at a time in a thimble.
The key was to celebrate every drop you successfully caught.

Leadership Plano: What The Fuss is About

In a fit of unreasonable schedule assessment, I applied to be a part of Leadership Plano.

And I have to say, a little unreasonableness is a good thing every now and then!

Leadership Plano is an educational program, a leadership development program, a ... well, it's many things, but primarily it's an amazing opportunity offered by my city to learn more about the unique place we live.

We meet monthly for a year, focusing on different aspects of the community - from education to government and nearly everything in between and beyond.

We also have the wonderful opportunity to visit a variety of locations around the city, including tours of the unique businesses that call Plano home - like this manufacturing plant that we toured during the fall.

We've also spent time as a group, learning about one another and learning how to work together.

That's included a photo scavenger hunt around the city.

Cookout competitions...

...where our team proudly displayed our flag of commitment to giving it our all.

You may remember our flag from a certain unfortunate incident during our kick-off retreat.

I feel quite blessed to have underestimated my schedule and time commitments for 2014-2015. How else would I have met all of these wonderful people? And learned so much about my city?

PS - many cities around the United States offer leadership programs. I highly recommend that you participate!

Leadership Requires Vulnerability

I went to a leadership retreat last month. We did a variety of team-building activities, including outdoor challenges, as part of a process to get know ourselves and each other better.

I'll write about this group in a later post, but for now I'll simply say that I'm fortunate to be part of a group of such interesting individuals. My fellow 34 classmates are talented, creative and passionate leaders.

One of the key things I took away from the weekend was that it's very important to be vulnerable even while you lead. Personally, I found myself (the talkative girl) taking a quieter role of observer and speaking into situations when necessary.

But even I could never had guessed the level of vulnerability that I'd have to face during the retreat.

Yes. That happened.

Short story: Group effort to get over a 14-foot vertical wall when my trousers were grabbed rather than my leg. Riiiiiiiiiip - waistband to bend of knee.

Talk about being vulnerable.

Exposed and hanging 14-feet off the ground, with only the hands of three suddenly-less-strangers holding me securely.

All I could say was:

The objective is to get me over the wall!

So they did. And we all survived.

And I laughed - and laughed and laughed. It's not often that you bare almost-it-all in a group that's been acquainted for less than 30 hours.

I suppose you could say that leadership requires vulnerability and a good sense of humor.

America's Future

In the middle of grading my community college students' papers, I read the following excerpt from student's essay aloud to The Boy:

Once the US, as big as we are, starts taking oil from Alaska and other countries...

The Boy just laughed and said:

Perhaps we should educate that student about Seward's Folly.

 

 

How to Alienate Customers and Go Out of Business

Yes, US Post Office, I'm talking about you. I know why you are going out of business - it's really five simple issues.

5. Shout at customers standing in line "NEXT PLEASE. I'M TALKING TO YOU - NEXT!!" Nothing like feeling devalued and handing over money for the privilege.

4. Don't restock supplies, forcing customers to wait in line for priority flat rate boxes, express envelopes and the like.

3. Have employees who are incapable of providing basic information, like standard mailbox height and setbacks.

2. Refuse to tidy up the facility. Overflowing rubbish bins and dirty counters are sure to convey that "get in, get out" feeling.

1. Don't care about your customers. Take your lunch break when your customers are on their lunch break and trying to run errands...like going to the post office.

No Complaining Allowed

This weekend, The Boy and I took advantage of early voting and cast our ballots for the last election of 2011. We didn't have any candidates on the ballot, but we had ten (count 'em: 10) constitutional amendments to consider.

That means we've voted in every election this year and have not only made our voice heard in the ballot box, but feel free to tell others to Quit Whining Already if they haven't voted. You can complain if things aren't the way you'd like, but not if you didn't bother to go vote during the 11 days of early voting or on Election Day.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

Source - with some cool voting facts, too

Don't Just Remember Them - Know Them

I just found the most amazing website that tracks the faces of the American soldiers lost in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.

It's a wonderful tool for humanizing the war, as well as reminding us to pray very specifically for the families of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. Including a 4-H friend of my family, Kyle Thomas.

Riding DART? Beware.

I was going to title this post: Trying to reduce our carbon footprint earned us a $75 fine. But that just took up too much space, as did: How conserving gas by riding public transport cost us more than 3 tankfuls of gas.

But first, some background information.

Last night, we attended a Dallas Stars game (#11 on the 101 list!). However, I was already downtown for an afternoon meeting. Because we believe in conserving gasoline (for the budget and the environment), we often carpool.

Question: How do you get one person downtown when the other person with the car is already downtown?

Answer: Take public transport.

The Boy walked to the closest DART station to make the trip to the arena. However....

It can be really confusing to determine which ticket you need to purchase. Unless you are a frequent rider, you have a limited amount of time to figure out which fare applies to you, based on your age, route, time of day, etc.

Simply stated - it's easy to make a mistake.

And make a mistake, The Boy did. He purchased a reduced single ride fare rather than a local single ride fare. Fee difference: 90 cents.

Then the unthinkable happened: he was part of a random ticket check on the train.

You see, DART isn't structured like most rail systems that we've ridden around the US and the world - there's not a ticket check before you board. In theory, it is possible to ride all day on DART without a ticket...unless you happen to be part of a random ticket check.

So The Boy was ticket checked and found lacking.

He discussed his confusion with the DART police officer who responded: The fare structure is very clear. You have no excuse.

He responded: But if I wanted to cheat DART, wouldn't I have not purchased a ticket at all? It's not logical that I would try to cheat by just 90 cents.

Logic apparently wasn't an option. Nor was asking him to get off the train and purchase a correct ticket at the next stop.

No - DART police wrote him a ticket for $75. A $75 ticket for a 90 cent error.

A ticket that will cost us $500 if we don't pay, plus the opportunity to have a warrant issued.



In my opinion, the handling of this situation is a Major Fail for DART. I understand the need to catch those cheating the system - those who take advantage of a poorly designed ticket control process.

But to punish someone who makes a mistake? An average Joe-Blow-Tax-Paying-Rider trying to get downtown for a game? Fail.

To be aggressively confrontational when discussing a ticket situation with said individual? Fail.

We have long been advocates of the need for expanded DART services in the metro area - committing our votes and tax dollars to the issue. These types of situations don't endear the system to us.

And I can only hope that visitors to our city aren't treated as poorly as The Boy was.

It almost ruined our enjoyment of this:

Ummmm....Thanks. I Think.

With regularity, I’ve been telling anyone who will listen that I think the US Postal Service has become complete rubbish. My grievances are many:

• Mail carriers talking on their cell phones instead of focusing on sorting mail into the appropriate slot
  
• Lost letters
  
• Slow delivery
  
• Service station workers take lunch from 12-1, when everyone goes to the post office over the lunch hour
  

I could go on.

The other day, I stopped in to send a package via certified mail. While there, I thought I’d pick up the specifications for home mailboxes.

The Hayley Home mailbox is in pretty sorry shape and at some point, we intend upgrade the box and move it from the edge of our property line to the center of our property near the sidewalk.

I, a faithful and law-abiding homeowner, had already called the President of our HOA to get permission to move the box. He had advised us that a) the HOA didn’t care where the mailbox was and b) I should get the mailbox specifications from the Postal Service.

So, I asked the postal worker: Can you please give me the specifications for residential mailboxes?

His response: We don’t really have those.

Me: Really? There are absolutely no rules for mailboxes in front of homes?

That, my friends, was both the wrong question to ask and definitely the wrong person to answer.

I  (and the 10 people in line behind me) lost the next 20 minutes of my life to a long-winded explanation of how mailboxes could be installed.

Well, you’ve got your road. And where the grass ends, that’s where the mailbox ends.

You see this curve here? I’m not good at drawing, but this is a curve. And where it ends, that’s where the grass ends and the concrete begins.

And at this curve, right at the curve, that’s where the box face has to be.

(Me: So the front of the box has to be at the edge of the grass. Got it.)

The box has to be 36 inches. No, it has to be 3 feet. Wait, 36 inches is 3 feet. Anyway, it has to be 36 inches, plus or minus 6 inches. That means 6 inches higher or 6 inches lower.

So, 30 inches or 42 inches. That’s 36 inches plus or minus 6 inches.

(Me: Does 36 inches refer to the center of the box, the bottom of the box or the top of the box?)

It’s like this (shoving hand forward) – 36 inches for where he puts the mail in. If it’s beyond 6 inches up, you have to reach too high (demonstrating). If it’s beyond 6 inches down, you can’t lean out of the truck (demonstrating).

(Me: Ok, 36 inches is the center of the box. Got it.)

Now, we used to like to have two car lengths between boxes. Two car lengths looks like this (sketch). But we’re ok with just one car length between each box. As long as the truck can drive in and out like this (squiggle).

(Me: Ok. Got it.)

And look at your street and how all of the boxes are. If they’re all on the left side of the sidewalk, you be on the left. If they’re all on the right side of the sidewalk, that’s what you do.

(Me: Ok. Got it.)

So basically, you need to watch the curve, the 36 inches plus or minus 6 inches and the car lengths.

(Me: Right. Got it.)

If you need any help or feel a little confused, you come back and ask me again and I’ll try to do better to explain it.

(Me: Ummm….ok. Thanks, I think.)