Failure: A True Story

One of my 101 goals is to learn how to make The Boy's favorite holiday apple jelly. He loves it because it tastes like apple pie in a jar.

I must, absolutely must, learn how to make it. Not because it's a goal, but because he love it so much.

And I love him so much, too.

Now, I'm practically perfect in every way, as anyone who knows me well will tell you, so it's a bit shocking to confess that I abjectly, totally and in all ways completely failed in my first attempt to make holiday apple jelly.

I followed the directions:

1. Blend 5 cups of sugar and 2 teaspoons of cinnamon in a large bowl.

2. Add 3 cups of apple juice and 2 tablespoons of lemon juice to the sugar.

3. Mix well until all of the sugar is dissolved.

4. Combine 3/4 cup water and a packet of fruit pectin. Cook over medium heat until mixture boils.

5. Add pectin mixture to juice and stir until well combined. Ummmm....

6. Wonder why your pectin never stirs in until combined.

7. Feel slightly grossed out by the sight of gelatinous slug-worms floating in apple-sugar juice.

8. Look at the packet of pectin and realize that you bought "no cook" pectin. Oops.