But as I was preparing to write, I got to thinking that I'm not really ashamed. Nor do I feel that I need to apologize - to readers or to myself - for not writing more.
The truth is that life's pretty full right now. I have a lot of work occupying my train commutes and days at the office. Other items fill the evenings, crowding out many things that I'd like to focus on, like random dinners with friends or, in truth, updating the blog with the many funny things that happen over the course of any given day.
A month or so ago I decided to release myself from false expectations and performance standards.
Not the expectations and performance standards required by my company. Or by my commitment to my spouse.
I'm talking about the false expectations that I place on myself. The performance standards that I alone have defined.
I named this blog the Hayley Daily. No one else asked me to post every day - others may enjoy it (though I grant that may be a conceit on my part), but I'm the only one demanding that I post every day.
I like testing new recipes and being creative in the kitchen - not my husband. In fact, he requested 15 years ago that I build a list of family favorites so that he could enjoy certain items over and over.
I like having a clean house. But I also like the furbabies. I could fight a fur-and-toys everywhere battle every day or I can enjoy evening purrs and struggles.
What I guess I'm saying is that it's important to be ok with letting things be for a while.
Post when you can post.
Cook when you can cook.
Pet a kitty and worry about sweeping the floor another day.
Forgiveness is powerful. And, outside of God's forgiveness, the ability to forgive ourselves is the most powerful kind of forgiveness there is.