New Header

Image Map

Monday, February 15, 2010

Umm...Can Someone Help Me?!?!

I had a bit of a disaster the other week.

Well, to be more accurate it really should be called a Giant Flaming Disaster.

I was late to work, hadn't eaten, hadn't had coffee, was talking on my cell get the picture. I threw an unfrosted brown-sugar cinnamon pop-tart into our ancient office toaster and went back to the more important task at hand: getting a cup of coffee.

I was in mid-sentence on my call, when I turned to see flames shooting out of the toaster. That's never a good thing!!

At least I was level-headed enough to unplug the toaster. However, I speak from experience when I say that blowing on a flaming toaster does not put out flames.

Shouting CAN SOMEONE HELP ME IN HERE?!?!?!?! does, however, put out flames. Because that kind of shouting leads to people rushing the kitchen, throwing the toaster in the sink and a group effort of watching a major flame-out.

Fun times for all at 7:30 am.

After the last bit of flames died down, I wondered aloud to my fire-fighting colleagues: Gosh, it would be helpful to know where the fire extinguisher is.

You mean, said one, the fire extinguisher that's right next to the coffee machine?

Ah. Well. Gee. Did I mention that I hadn't had any coffee yet??

Let me be clear, lest this ever happen again:

Crises involving blood, guts, food or critical deadlines:
Shannah is a superstar.

Crises involving major appliances, geysers or flaming toasters:
Shannah is a headless chicken.

Are we clear on that? Good!

Not my actual flaming toaster. These time-elapse shots came a weblog of a hilarious experiment sent to me by my loving Dad.

Because he cares about my safety and wants to improve my catalog of basic skills, he also sent me these instructions. Thanks, Dad.


  1. I can tell you from personal experience the odor from
    a piece of bread being toasted will get the fire department's attention immediately. Especially when the alarm is in a guest apartment in a large hospital in Tulsa.

    My mother always threw a handful of table salt on a fire in the bottom of the oven when her cherry pies boiled over.

  2. Not that we've ever had any parallels in our lives, but something similar happened to me not long ago. Lunch time - Lean Cuisine - microwave - apparently erred in setting the correct cooking time - smoke billowing out of the microwave, filling the kitchen and hallway at work. Needless to say, my lunch looked like an oblong charcoal briquette.

    The fire alarm alerts the monitoring company to dispatch the fire department automatically. We tried calling to cancel, but it was too late.

    It will take awhile to live this down ... trust me. I speak from experience.

    P.S. I learned in Camp Fire to have baking soda near the stove for grease fires.

  3. P.S.S. Love the support from your dad - He's hilarious!

  4. I am quite sure I know which side of the family passed on the toaster genes to me...

  5. I have yet to experience the microwave shame - what a funny story!!!

    My dad is uber-helpful when it comes to googling solutions.

    Some day I'll be brave enough to share the drywall tale on the blog.